Monday, July 27, 2009

The Zplus Supper

Withdrawal of NSG cover to VIPs: Mixed response (Link)

A supper was recently held to discuss Zplus security. All the Z-types were in attendance.

The Government is mulling over withdrawl of Z plus security to various folks, pending a review. The NSG has written a letter to the government asking for return to its army related security work as opposed to guarding MP's, ministers, ex-ministers, ministers wives, children and so on. They have requested that the local police handle this security.

It is rumoured that in some places (where a single "leader " has 35 policemen just "sitting" outside his house), there is an unprecedented demand for getting postings there .....

The concerned party cadre MP's were in an uproar in Parliament over this, and the PM promised to maintain the Zplus security.

Our leaders can now plan, discuss, drive, hide, eat, socialize ,threaten, fight, earn , lose, see movies, exercise, design statues, ride chariots, , fly , (and if you are Deve Gowda, sleep) , all under Zplus security....

Jai Ho!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Pockets Museum

Belgian artist Jan Bucquoy's "Musee du Slip" or underpants museum, which opened in Brussels earlier this month, displays framed underwear of prominent citizens, labelled nicely. The artist states that the framed underwear represents a utopian longing for an equal society, and that history would have been different if this exercise had been carried out, in, say, Hitler's time...

Click here to understand more

Our sleuths in Delhi report, that some leading artists here, are planning a similar Pockets Museum, where leading politicians, and almost all politicians will be requested to donate their pockets for display, in real time, whenever requested . For those in power who function in a pocketless mode, pockets of their sons or close aide, will be eagerly accepted.

Unnamed reliable sources in government indicate that the Pockets Museum will be part of a larger entity called Pockets Park, which will also have some games for children. In keeping with the latest directive from the government , these games will involve physical activity from the children instead of pressing buttons on a screen . The first game likely to get operational soon is one that would help tone the biceps, and is called Aim at the Pocket

Portraits of folks with deepest and heaviest pockets will be hung from trees, and there will be a competition for aiming and downing the largest number of such portraits. The prize will be the contents of the pocket(s) .

In unusual cases, free transport home will be provided for the winners, with temporary Z plus security.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Ape version 1.1

"There are 193 living species of monkeys and apes. 192 of them are covered with hair. The exception is a naked ape self-named Homo sapiens."

----Desmond Morris

Great excitement bordering on anxiety, has been reported amongst the penguins and seals at the Cape of Good Hope. Biologists at the University say that this happens when animals sense the arrival of another species in their midst.

Simultaneously the Kenya Zoological Survey reports the disappearance of a few apes from their wild life reserve.

It was earlier believed that this had something to do with Global warming. However, it was later revealed that the entire thing was triggered by a beautiful lady taking photographs of people at the Cape, in the belief that they were really Apes.

However, our sources in South Africa report that the missing Apes have been spotted at the Cape, reading up on Darwins theory from books, hitherto swiped from the library at the University of Transvaal.

Further details are awaited.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

How much is too much ?

Mayawati, Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh, our most populous state, has installed 40 statues — including six of herself (3 ready and 3 in preparation), and 60 marble elephants — the symbol of her Bahujan Samaj Party (BSP) — since 2007, when she won her fourth term as chief minister. (Link)

Sources indicate that in keeping with inscriptions found on old statues, she has also ordered laudatory inscriptions carved in a circular manner all around the base. Rumors indicate that, many of the rural artisans doing this work, are themselves illiterate.

Reports from the field say, that ever since it was ordered that the bodies of the concrete elephants also display inspirational inscriptions, the artisans have followed a go slow policy.

While the Supreme court has summoned Mayawati and her state government in this case, the artisans are worried about a Rs 2 million, modern, state of the art (?) police station that has come up at the entrance to the park housing the elephants.

(This post inspired by this.....)