Sunday, February 14, 2010

Mumbai Manthan

Unhappy about the Commonwealth Games being held in new Delhi, the Government of Maharashtra has sent a delegation to the High Command in Delhi, requesting the introduction of tug-of-war as a sport from 2010.

Not to be left behind, the Sena systems (Shiv and MN), of Mumbai, have cited scriptures , and quoted passages about gods churning the oceans and pulling from both sides to grab the goodies.

While the Union sports minister has appointed a committee to look into this, back in Maharashtra the ruling party and the Sena Systems were at great pains to demonstrate that tugging, and churning of the populace, is a way of life, particularly at high levels .

"We tug for power, we tug for money, we tug for position, and we even tug for money", said a senior minister. "In fact, any party that has been in power, ever, has learnt to tug, vigorously".

The ruling party then invited the most popular actor from Bollywood to help, and the Sena systems, incensed with the British English usage "tug-of-war", immediately went on a protest and changed the name to Mumbai Manthan.

Violent protests were the order of the day, with lots of running around, threatening, shutting of shops, and opening of threats, and 48,000 police had their leaves cancelled all over the state, so they could stand like an audience and applaud, as the ruling party and the Sena Systems, churned away, displaying a great sense of tug-of-war alias manthan, tightening the noose across the populace, already weakened from rising prices, crowded public transport, pollution and water shortages.

Observing the floods of tears falling from the twisted churning population, Mr Amar Singh , lately of the Switchwadi Party, who was on a secret visit to Mumbai, recommended that the state introduce tear-water harvesting, to take advantage of an unhappy populace.

According to reliable reports, Mr Amar Singh abruptly left, after the populace decided to make him the centre of the tugging game, and the Sena systems, and the ruling party agreed to implement it instantly.

It is not known what the Sports Minister has decided about including Manthan/Tug-of-War as a Commonwealth Games sport.

Strangely, a villager , resident of Raigad Fort, where Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj had his coronation, has reported that the Chhatrapati appeared in his dream, and requested, that the so called several crores memorial to him, off Mumbai, in the sea, be scrapped, since he feared that the next Manthan in the Sea, again, between the Sena Systems and Ruling Party, would adversely affect him there.

The villager has been sent for lie-detector testing.

Meanwhile, the tugging continues.


  1. ...and will continue on till eternity...

  2. Only great writing skills can produce such lovely writings.
    Incidentally, don't be surprised if there is another WAR--as to who will head the game?